i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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