youre lurking in front of me
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
