Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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