Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
