Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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