so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
