Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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