Soap is not a condiment
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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