Having a random hookup so left but love u
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
