I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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