Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
