so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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