Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
