he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
