It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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