My hand turned me down
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
