turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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