The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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