Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
