God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
