Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
