I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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