Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Damn victory sex feels great
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
