so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize