just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
