You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
