Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
