sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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