My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
