Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
we should paint friendship bongs
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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