Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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