I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
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