Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
