Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
