how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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