I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
