I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
