No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
