hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
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