did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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