Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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