Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
