theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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