I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
