Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
did i walk over a car last night?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
