Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Randomize
