Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
