OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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