He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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