i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
