My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
A+ Viking dick
They left me at home... I'm a liability
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
