He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
