New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
