This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
