Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
