i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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