You can't motorboat a personality
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I think your dad took our porno
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
