We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
