so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
